Simultaneously, seniors everyone do arrange for the two to sleep-in one to domestic for every night. Once they observe that little occurred due to worry because of the boy, the new older dudes, because of his uncle, do organize briefing courses to inform the brand new boy just who the latest lady is really he is to not forget away from girls and you will feminine. There was a common belief that ladies “bite” one of several young people, and no that dares to state opposite opinions. This is why belief, boys and you can girls don’t rush into the matrimony and you may, consequently, they generally marry from the chronilogical age of 31 otherwise thirty five.

The newest boy narrates in order to his cousin all of the emails of the girl he’s enjoyed and wish to of no less than simply three, spanning the students people, his uncle, plus one cousin not his parents, check outs the girl’s domestic with the intention that these corners discover for each other better

After that, parents and you may uncles ( eni mbumba ) (the master of the children) will always wanting to has actually the boy or girl look for a good compatible relationship companion. Although some of these methods was diminishing, it however setting part of the youth’s way to delivering ong the brand new Chewa.

Among the many Chewa , when a man reveals wedding in order to a beneficial girl, it is not obvious that they will marry immediately. There clearly was a process that comes to uncles, aunties, parents, chiefs, or any other influential people in the city. ” Even after being selecting the guy, the lady does not state “yes” from the very first suggestion regarding people. The person should validate his standing once or twice before girl nods to your proposition. Up until now, some men give-up thinking the latest girl isn’t interested in all of them.

Depending on the Chewa people, it is incorrect toward girl to accept a married relationship offer at first experience of a guy. The brand new girl must decrease desired with the intention that she actually is seen since the “good,” maybe not eager, not effortless visit site, and you can anyone guys normally challenge having.

Recognizing the brand new proposal during the 1st exposure to the person is actually good manifestation of exhaustion on girl. They indicators she’s “cheap.” Likewise, when your people fights back once again to earn new girl immediately following a great impede into the accepting a proposition, they signals an effective marriage. Moreover it signifies that the man is strong and durable enough. After that, it guarantees you to definitely regardless of if it deal with challenges in marriage, one another would-be sufficiently strong to cope with items.

Initially, if the man suits the new girl, the man states, “ Chemwali ndakukondani, n’kadakonda ndithu n’takukwatirani,” meaning “Woman, I love you, and you will would love to wed you

This course of action is called “kufunsira mbeta,” meaning relationships proposal . If the girl finally allows, the person supplies the girl chikole ( anything bodily that lady otherwise a guy can show other people you to definitely she actually is involved). Well-known products used just like the chikole become mikanda (jewelry) , cloth feminine always use to link more than its brains, and other thing anything. Supplying the woman chikole implies that the man try dedicated to marrying this new girl and you will suppresses new girl off getting contacted of the most other guys for relationship proposals. Whenever a special man approache your woman, she shows the fresh new chikole to help you take off him of continued their advances.

Given that girl allows the latest suggestion, she advises the man to tell their unique cousin about any of it. As previously mentioned prior to, among Chewa, brand new bro is known as mwini mbumba (owner of one’s college students on the clan). If the people arranges to check out the latest bro of your own girl, the guy cannot go alone. Initially, he has got to share with their buddy about the girl he’s got suggested marriage so you’re able to. When they arrived at new girl’s sibling, their cousin might not alone – they are always inserted of the almost every other family relations of your own girl but not their unique moms and dads. When the new boy’s class appear, it practice discussions titled malonje (introductions and you may inviting opinions).